Wednesday, April 12, 2017
Psalms 119:107, 109
107. I am afflicted very much;
Revive me, O Lord, according to Your word.
109. My life is continually in my hand,
Yet I do not forget Your law.
Psalms 119:107 reflects the situation I am in currently. I am afflicted very much by my sins. Sins that I keep on doing everyday. Sins that I cannot let go. Sins that although I know that they are wrong, I still let myself go with it. Most of the time, I feel like a hypocrite like the pharisees in the New Testaments. I sin now, then I pray later. What a shame! It's the very thing that keeps me from calling unto God. I feel ashamed, embarrassed, that I have the audacity to call unto God when I keep on doing what He forbid me to do.
"My life is continually in my hand" says Psalms 119:109, and yes, I plan without praying to God. I plan without even asking God what He wants. That's why most of my plans fail. Because it's not what God needs me to do.
Lord, like Psalm 119:109, I do not forget Your law. And like Psalm 119:107, I ask for the revival of my life according to Your word. I cannot change on my own. I will never be able to turn away from all of my sins unless You help me. I know, it's not yet my best. But Lord, I'll keep on trying on calling unto You. No one knows me like You do. In this hopeless feelings that I have, in love, friendship, family, finances, work, Lord, You're the one who knows my heart. As I said before, I will never get tired of asking for Your mercy, for Your grace, please purify my heart Lord God, because in my heart will be the source of everything that I desire. I desire to change but my heart is full of darkness and sin, and that keeps me away from what I desire.
Lord, I know that You still hear me, no matter how many times I turn away from You. Can You be patient with me Lord? Can I ask for more time to change? And within that "more time", can You teach me how to change the negative things about me, the things that You don't like me to be?
Thank You Lord. All Glory are Yours forever! I love You Lord!
This I pray in Jesus' mighty name. Amen.